Power of Choices

“Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.” – Dale Carnegie

According to my mental alarm clock, I don’t sleep past 9:30 a.m. especially on my days off.  However, this morning was different: 7:30 a.m. was my curtain call. Besides being no longer able to sleep in, I usually have my most lucid yet vivid dreams. Well Memorial Day morning delineated…

It starts with an apartment. I did not recognize or clearly discern its details. Painted like a childhood bedroom of mine, the walls were in carnation pink, akin to the 60’s flavor my grandmother’s house had back in the day. Half the lights were off or dim, I’m not sure which.

I proceed down the hallway very cautiously. The whole trip I have a strange vibe about what lay ahead. My mind begins racing. In that moment, every doubt, hesitation, and fear surfaced. Suddenly I was flushed, filled with shaky emotions. I stop. As darkness seeks to surround my body, a light gleams at the corner of my desperate eye…

That illumination led me, almost subconsciously, to a door. A wooden doorway to be precise. After recognizing it, I grab the knob and turn. The gateway swings ajar and the sight leaves me in shock.

Distinguished by light, I enter a bedroom. It is not like any I have seen before. Figures are rolling around under the sheets; I make a noise; they are startled, dispelling the covers to reveal themselves;not fully but enough to peer out into the remainder. There they see me. Conversely, I see them.

Besides how awkward this was in general, it became more so when my brain caught up, helping me identify the individuals in front of me.  Two longtime friends, one a writer, the other an artist…and no, even if you did research, you wouldn’t uncover anything (I have too many to count in both professions). Long story short, in reality, these two would NEVER EVER get together. It’s like Angel and Willow (of Buffy fame) or uh…John Diggle and Felicity Smoak from Arrow. It’s too unlikely.

Anyway, I hastily exit the room. I am flush with embarrassment for what I just walked in on. More importantly, another wave of emotion comes over me. I begin to cry, uncontrollably. Thoughts of loneliness and unrequited relationships race; teeming with sadness, I drop to the floor. Overhearing the apparent couple, they wish I would find someone, the way they had with each other and  in an eerie display, I laugh.

Then I awake.

While certain themes were obvious, the dream still managed to confound. But it rang out some skeletons and made one thing abundantly clear: I need to get out there.

With that weirdness expunged, I will get on with my Memorial Day!

Bye for now, KS.