it has him begging for scraps,
everyone has an opinion,
as he keeps score,
like what you think matters!
what you do does,
the World tallies action as merit,
the rest goes unscored,
you’re missing out,
as that chalk goes to the chalkboard,
guilt in arbitrary form,
adding it up,
like an equation that holds meaning,
drop that stick of chalk,
see what’s around you,
make a choice,
take a stand,
change the narrative….
of your life,
“You have a brain in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” – Dr. Seuss
As always, I find myself struggling with the nature of my own existence. What’s different is how many around me actually care – I know how Peter felt after crying wolf so many times. It’s just me now….and I still have to do it.
I am who I am and the key to everything is to accept who I am, fully and honestly. Yeah, I lied to myself too!
That’s why I say whatever is on my mind without caring for the repercussions because I don’t have time. My clock went to zero a long time ago.
I also hold anxiety when it comes to being and remaining single. Unlike other heterosexual males, I see little to no merit in it.
I simply don’t.
At my age, I’m in a peculiar place and I don’t think any one thing will help change where I’m at.
I hear, “just do this, just do that….you have to start somewhere.”
My trepidation is palpable.
I find that the closer you get to people, the more truth matters; you can’t lie about who you are or what you’ve done because eventually, the true story will surface.
Believe me, it always surfaces.
So it matters to be whoever you truly are, while you have the opportunity to be.
The only reason I know I still have one is that I’m here, taking breaths, and so irritated by discontent that I need to do better.
It burns white-hot in me.
Because I don’t who could accept this….
Bye for now, KS.