A True Determiner – The Difference Between ‘I Want and I WANT’

“Each had his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends could only read the title.” – Virginia Woolf

First off, Merry Christmas everyone (reading)!

I hope your holiday is filled with peace and joy.

In regards to my own, sleeping in, a short (but sweet) Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood binge, and a family dinner at my matriarch’s are on the slate.

On my second cup of Joe from the Snoopy Christmas mug my sister bought last year, I think of the future. Not necessarily bright but hopeful…

Moving again (as I have done numerous times) doesn’t bother me as it once did and neither does change; while I am heartbroken about some of it, I stay optimistic concerning the remainder. Plus, new horizons never killed anybody.

Plus, new horizons never killed anybody….quickly. šŸ˜‰

Anyway, I never thought I would be listening to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra while trying to work out what’s rattling in my peanut-shaped head.

A long time friend asked me if knew the difference between “I want” and “I want”.Ā At the time, I honestly didn’t have an answer. Now it is evident to me.

After a lifetime of talking through situations, providing distractions, and fabricatingĀ progress, I’ve stopped dodging…myself.

For the first time, I will admit that I never knew what I wanted.

That omission in itself is hard for me swallow yet getting easier to grasp; my life (up to this point) has not been wasted, simply delayed. I finally have reached “the center” of my onion.

In conclusion, the move and a fresh start give this malcontent what’s necessary to step into unfamiliar territory: my true self.

Bye for now and Happy Holidays, KS!

 

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