“Iron is full of impurities that weaken it: through forging, it becomes steel and is transformed into a razor-sharp sword. Human beings develop in the same fashion.” – Morihei Ueshiba
Speaking of impurities, I contracted Shingles this week.
Yes, shingles. I am only 33 not 53 or older.
I know right?!
What in the blue hell is my body trying to tell me?
Maybe that I NEED to change my life.
Without understanding the intricacies of how I live now, I can only say it makes sense.
I have lived in the same apartment for half a decade (not that I’m complaining whereas some people don’t have anywhere to rest their weary heads). My roommate is family and we get along swimmingly.
For a little background, my symptoms started out as a simple rash which I incorrectly attributed to stress i.e. hives. So my train of thought ran through possible stressors and the majority of them led back to my current job.
Mainly due to my employer and the duties which have been shoehorned onto my shoulders, my stress level and overall tension towards the workplace have increased.
In my ongoing study (of myself and how I can improve), my coping mechanism predominately relies on the past; whether it’s friends, hobbies, or possible avenues, my go to is the throwback: something I have tried before (school, writing, impromptu trips, teaching nostalgia, communication with old friends, etc.).
The difference now is that I see my “insanity” and choose to respond in a way not executed in my past. When I have a clue of what it is, I’ll let you know.
Most positively, I have absolutely NO doubts about who I am. My trepidation comes from a lack of knowledge…of how to utilize myself and arrive at a position where I can be my best self.
Believe it or not, this blog reminds me of what’s brimming inside…the “P” word, potential.
Shudder the thought… lol.
In the meantime, I’ll give this one to God. I don’t say that often…but I’m at a point where divine intervention would be welcomed.
Bye for now, KS.