My Biggest Challenge

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” – Anthony Robbins

Being challenged is not new to me…and I’m sure it is not new to any of you.

 

Returning to school, which I am in the midst of, has taken years to muster the courage.

Working for a company I cannot abide by, who stacks the deck against me every chance it gets and on top of it all, to have a boss like mine. Nightmare.

Thirty two going on thirty-three inhabiting such an awkward phase, between adulthood and limbo, I have no footing in either realm.

A nerd not ashamed of his knowledge geek-laden minutiae.

The center of attention in social circles.

A hermit on his own time.

Teacher. Writer. Poet. None of the above…perhaps.

That said, my biggest challenge to date is: finding a girlfriend.

Not necessarily finding one but meeting someone who complements me; I don’t ask for perfection or a companion to mask my flaws; I want a partner, friend, someone to share my all-too-eccentric life with.

Contrast of years bygone, I do not need a woman to “complete” me. I have matured enough to accept who I am and fix myself (as opposed to waiting on a heroine to swoop in and do it for me).

I spent my youth looking in every corner I could, meeting a few I would regret later. Also sabotaging a good thing when I had it, making potentials flee in shame. Honestly, I believed destiny would do all of the work, worrying whether risk could be safe. Such a contradiction in terms.

So in the lesson life taught me, I grew to appreciate the failures, near successes, and the never-were’s. Somewhere in my soul is telling the cynic that he is wrong; that I am worthy of someone and the moment will come.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared…

*exhale*

I just needed that.

Carrying those sorts of emotional woes can be harmful.

Thanks for listening!

Bye for now, KS.

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