Out of the Pigeonhole

“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.” – Marcel Proust

I don’t dream or have as much fun as I used to. Unlike other entries, I am not putting myself down. In fact I am admitting a change which has been slowly occurring.

After years away, applying for college has my hopes high yet I’m a little antsy at the prospect of going back .  I know I want to finish more than I ever have.

Day by day, my mind wanders to the past: days gone by when I seemed to at the peak of my powers and the boundaries of my personal ambition.

What I shed…was the abominable pride which festered within. Because I have experienced and fully realize the cost of such sins.

However, I would only be deceiving myself if I said my scars wouldn’t have revealed themselves at all. I can only atone.

Atone in a manner that goes against what I have practiced beforehand: commitment.

Going forward, I must.

Otherwise, the future looks very mundane.

The grocery store will keep me as long as I work well. But I don’t even like to think about finishing the year there, much less a decade.

Don’t get wrong…I am blessed to be employed. There are many out there who are not.

Despite that, something in my bones calls for more…

I aim to get it.

Bye for now, KS.


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