“Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.” – Dale Carnegie
According to my mental alarm clock, I don’t sleep past 9:30 a.m. especially on my days off. However, this morning was different: 7:30 a.m. was my curtain call. Besides being no longer able to sleep in, I usually have my most lucid yet vivid dreams. Well Memorial Day morning delineated…
It starts with an apartment. I did not recognize or clearly discern its details. Painted like a childhood bedroom of mine, the walls were in carnation pink, akin to the 60’s flavor my grandmother’s house had back in the day. Half the lights were off or dim, I’m not sure which.
I proceed down the hallway very cautiously. The whole trip I have a strange vibe about what lay ahead. My mind begins racing. In that moment, every doubt, hesitation, and fear surfaced. Suddenly I was flushed, filled with shaky emotions. I stop. As darkness seeks to surround my body, a light gleams at the corner of my desperate eye…
That illumination led me, almost subconsciously, to a door. A wooden doorway to be precise. After recognizing it, I grab the knob and turn. The gateway swings ajar and the sight leaves me in shock.
Distinguished by light, I enter a bedroom. It is not like any I have seen before. Figures are rolling around under the sheets; I make a noise; they are startled, dispelling the covers to reveal themselves;not fully but enough to peer out into the remainder. There they see me. Conversely, I see them.
Besides how awkward this was in general, it became more so when my brain caught up, helping me identify the individuals in front of me. Two longtime friends, one a writer, the other an artist…and no, even if you did research, you wouldn’t uncover anything (I have too many to count in both professions). Long story short, in reality, these two would NEVER EVER get together. It’s like Angel and Willow (of Buffy fame) or uh…John Diggle and Felicity Smoak from Arrow. It’s too unlikely.
Anyway, I hastily exit the room. I am flush with embarrassment for what I just walked in on. More importantly, another wave of emotion comes over me. I begin to cry, uncontrollably. Thoughts of loneliness and unrequited relationships race; teeming with sadness, I drop to the floor. Overhearing the apparent couple, they wish I would find someone, the way they had with each other and in an eerie display, I laugh.
Then I awake.
While certain themes were obvious, the dream still managed to confound. But it rang out some skeletons and made one thing abundantly clear: I need to get out there.
With that weirdness expunged, I will get on with my Memorial Day!
Bye for now, KS.
“My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy
“Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves.” ― Robert Frost
One month ago, I helped a good friend of mine move. I don’t think I knew how good… He may be person I can be completely honest with, outside of my sister (who is my bestie).
That day, he had to pack up and move away from the townhouse he had basically grown up in; twenty-seven years in one place; I can only imagine how it was.
In contrast, his transition into another dwelling and to perhaps a truer semblance of adulthood, reminded me of my own. Struggles which I have been reluctant to resolve or even attest to. Ones I hadn’t admitted to this very friend. I honestly couldn’t tell you why…
Maybe I was embarrassed.
No wait…I know I was.
Much later on, an adult conversation on career choices, quarter life crises, and possible solutions, I reveal aforementioned fears. To new friends (including my good one), I did this. It was not easy or expected. Hell they were more understanding than I ever thought anyone would be.
Separately, my good friend didn’t comprehend why didn’t come to him in the first place. I did not express an answer then but it may have been shame. I’m not sure.
Seemingly in one night, those demons were somewhat exorcised, had much less sway on my passions, and there is a clear direction stirring within. Light has re-entered said tunnel; purpose has been reawakened.
After this long in the dark, I had given in to futility. I didn’t fully conceptualize how much.
That night and nights afterward, I slept on it and taken hope into tomorrow. I am slowly climbing, taking back progress through steps to where I want to be.
And yes, my friend is doing great in his new home.
The lesson here: we don’t do anything well alone…
Bye for now, KS.
“A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted for insight and understanding.” – Marshall McLuhan
I have a message for all of my fellow Comic Book Movie Fans: Stop being disappointed before you watch the movie!
For example, the latest X-Men movie, Days of Future Past, released in foreign countries the world over (before debuting in the United States) and had NO BAD PRESS. NONE. No bad reviews, non-spoiler previews, or general comic book community gossip…except Quicksilver’s overall look/costume/hair style…was a very solid indicator that this was going to be good. But why don’t we believe that?
I have an all-to-simple answer: we’re used to it.
After years of unrealistic expectations, beyond the technology or the industry’s knowledge of comic book movie done right, we were left heartbroken time and again. Daredevil. The Punisher. Ghost Rider. The Hulk. Green Lantern. The list (unfortunately) goes on.
Fifteen years ago, when Bryan Singer’s ‘X-MEN’ debuted, I think we X-Men fans WERE expecting too much too early. We wanted the tradition Blue and Yellow costumes. We wanted Patrick Stewart as Professor X (we got our wish on that one!). We even wanted the entire of the animated series (Gambit, Jubilee, Beast, etc.) and the Sentinels in this very first film! It was the first and our expectations were through the roof! Remember, X-MEN 1 predated Sam Raimi’s ‘Spider-Man’ and post-dated Tim Burton’s ‘Batman Returns’ by almost a decade…
We didn’t care that graphic design hadn’t caught up to the excellent standard we have in 2014. It’s funny how hard we would have pushed for the towering Sentinels to be realized by the year 2000’s computer graphics. Then, as the piranhas we can sometimes be, would have turned around and lambasted these guys for mangling and maligning the very robotic villains our desire put on-screen.
Over the last ten years or so, the practice of making these movies and putting the right people in position to produce them has fostered a better product.
As time goes on, then we, as those fans, should show a little more faith.
Instead of our (usual) default of cynicism, criticism built on subjective tastes, and fanaticism for something we don’t own.
We love it…these characters, their worlds, the conflict, the super-powered action sequences and primarily, their stories.
And please try to turn the volume down on your expectations.
Ultimately, let us not confuse love for ownership…and our faith will be rewarded (like a notable comic book character once said).
Latch on to that…
Bye for now, KS.
I think we X-Men fans WERE expecting too much too early. Now, the practice of making these movies and putting the right people in position to produce better product as time goes on then we, as those fans, should show a little more faith. Instead of the default of cynicism, criticism built on subjective tastes, and fanaticism for something we don’t own. Latch on to that…”
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” -Maya Angelou