Five AM

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.” – P. G. Wodehouse

Often I find myself apologizing a bit too much and paying a price for it somehow. Thoughts like this stirred in my wheelhouse so much that I awoke at 5:00 am. Minor calamities at work and resolving issues in my personal life provided the noise.

Then I realized today is Saturday and I seriously need to decompress. The Super Bowl is tomorrow night and I have preparations to enact before then. So my focus should be there…

But they aren’t.

My work situation basically is what it is: I am overextended and I have yet to tell my boss to suck it. Meaning that I am electing to take on all of the extra in silence so this residual stress is on me. Until I man up and resolve those points of contention, there’s nothing else to say.

One thing to say on the personal life though: I am taking more credit for its failures and I can see where the women I involved myself with are coming from. While I didn’t think being “a nice guy” guaranteed me an audience or an automatic relationship, I did think it made me more suitable. I saw an article on Facebook broaching the aforementioned topic; it bugged the hell out of me but open my eyes as well.

In hindsight, I could have tried harder to be a friend (which, outside of potential partnerships, I’m not bad at) instead of blowing it up after the initial phase.  I still believe meeting the right one is key; however, I don’t have the same hangups or expectations, no longer assuming that it isn’t going to take diligence or that the relationship narrative will write itself. I’ve also seen those who get it right and how hard they work; learning that it is more than putting yourself out there.

Wouldn’t hurt me if I did though…

Other than that, I’m so ready for new opportunities.

A fresh start.

A welcome change.

A sure sign.

Bye for now, KS.


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