“People believe I am what they see Me as, rather than what they do not see. But I am the Great Unseen, not what I cause Myself to be in any particular moment. In a sense, I am what I am not. It is from the Am-notness that I come, and to it I always return.” – Neale Donald Walsch
“To have no heroes is to have no aspiration, to live on the momentum of the past, to be thrown back upon routine, sensuality, and the narrow self.” – Charles Horton Cooley
I’ve been trying to write this for a while. Many days ago, I caught pink eye, was subject to an audit by my supervisor, and realized slow the train of my life had been travelling. Maybe I contemplate things way too heavily and this whole entry may be an exaggeration, but it feels as though some moves have to be made.
That said, school (or going back) has floated in my periphery lately. Two years and I’m not sure what I want to do with my life. I would never admit such a thing to anyone: I did what others wanted me to do; I rarely established my own. truly personal goals. Granted, I found enough satisfaction to sate outside expectations. I wasn’t lazy, simply poor and fearful that wouldn’t make the right choices. A self-fulfilling prophecy if there ever was one…
Due to my adaptability and willingness to compromise, I only notice a need for change at moments of great stress, trepidation, or calamity. So even as I daddle, people (or my co workers in this case) remind me of better days. Ones where I could be a help. The list of activities I don’t do has grown, perhaps to provide room for new.
Bye for now, KS.
“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” –Thornton Wilder
“To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle. Every cubic inch of space is a miracle.” – Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
“Far away, there in the sunshine, are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.” – Louisa May Alcott
“America has been a land of dreams. A land where the aspirations of people from countries cluttered with rich, cumbersome, aristocratic, ideological pasts can reach for what once seemed unattainable. Here they have tried to make dreams come true. Yet now… we are threatened by a new and particularly American menace. It is not the menace of class war, of ideology, of poverty, of disease, of illiteracy, or demagoguery, or of tyranny, though these now plague most of the world. It is the menace of unreality.” – Daniel J. Boorstin