“The best way to do it, is to do it!” – Amelia Earhart
Comfort doesn’t come easy but when you have a chance to fight for it, you should.
Three months ago, I could not have uttered such words. I lost my job. I had little money. However, the glass ceiling gave way and I realized how much it didn’t matter; what did matter was what I did next. So I got back on my horse and rode off…into the future, I guess.
Anyway, I gain employment somewhere else, a grocery store mind you, and within a month I was promoted, from menial night stock to inventory control. Real hours and a substantial pay raise. In addition, I’m acing the training and I’ve already received compliments (unlike my predecessors). I have a good feeling about this.
Also, I could see myself for the first time. No delusions of grandeur, long winded speeches, or lopsided protestations of possible successes. It feels great just to live and not have the weight in hauty expectations hold me down. I could experience what I had built walls to “protect” me from.
Otherwise, the (second) highlight of my summer was attending my longtime friend’s house warming party. I hadn’t seen his parents in ages yet they were happy to see me. His girlfriend’s were there too. I really chatted up her mom about the prospect of the two getting married. When I told my friend later, he was amused. He knows I often broach subjects others are normally afraid to.
Furthermore, I made a few new friends and apparently… was the life of the party! I have a tendency to talk to everyone even if they seem quiet. I like to get all comers involved in the festivities somehow. Plus, old friends encouraged me to be myself, celebrating life. I hope we can do this again.
Moving into August, I’m very confident and optimistic. I will try not to worry about the things I cannot control; the things I can take precedent. The girlfriend issue is a constant (and nagging one) but working on me is ultimately more important right now. I can’t ponder it any harder than I have; the mistakes aren’t all I am and I will grow because of them. When I do, whoever I meet will be better for it.
Bye for now, KS.