The Strangest Dream

“A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul.” – Erich Fromm 

I napped very hard, almost three hours. As a result, I had the strangest dream though, about two people I haven’t seen in awhile. I still don’t know what it means…

It was a rainy night. I was about to walk home from work. Off of a long day like this one, I wasn’t feeling it. Blinded by the wet and cold, I bump into someone…a girl I haven’t laid eyes on in a month or so. 

Anyway, she offers to take me to my place. We have a few laughs then I focus on her hair. It’s wet from getting drenched by rainfall. However, she’s much less concerned and slightly annoyed. It’s commonplace; I don’t get through many conversations without pissing off women. It was good to see her though…

Then my father shows up…and the girl is gone. We begin bantering on the events of the day, my dad’s latest trip to the doctor, and have some male bonding time. Unfortunately, the content of our dialogue had become a vagary once I awoke.

I usually don’t remember this much, dream wise, so it must have some significance. I could be wrong. To host them in the same dream was opportune I guess; issues with relationships, family and aboard, have been prevalent in recent years.

My dad and I are fine. We don’t communicate as much as I would like but we are both at fault for that. He and I are sporadic at calling each other which is another “spitting image” aspect I find eerie. He’ll always be a part of my life.

However, the girl is a different story. In fact, she moved away from the area…and I haven’t seen her since. We used to talk, text, and be in the same room on a regular basis. Now there’s no contact…which is solely on me. A drunken text night, an awkward following day, and a weak effort to start things up again, absolutely halted any activity. It makes me sad.

Second chances don’t come often.

What does it all mean?

How strange dreams can be…

Bye for now, KS.

The First Step

“Smile through the hard times, even though it doesn’t seem to get any better, cause a smile is the first step to fixing things.” – Unknown

I smiled today; several times in fact. I don’t even know why but I’m thankful for the result. It was definitely a reprieve from how manic I’ve been feeling as of late.

I also feel like I have taken an important step in my development. I usually emote to the point of no return…ad nauseum. Today, I let it go.

There’s no meaning in being angry or disappointed anymore. Sometimes things don’t work out but I should be grateful for the chance.

My smile came from a deep, honest place. They served me well as the shift I was on, dragged. I am no longer worried or fearful (of certain outcomes). Everything is front of me.

The biggest smile just took me by surprise.

Bye for now, KS. 🙂