“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” –Deepak Chopra
One can only take so many punches before they succumb to their injuries; in this very personal case, I think I have.
My dreams have little to no desire attached to them yet I want something else. It is scratching, clawing from inside my chest.
I frustrate myself.
I need help…real help…but I’m too prideful (to get it).
I have all but disappeared.
I am not depressed or xenophobic, not by any means.
I moved to make a change…and it’s here.
So much has changed, maybe too much.
I don’t know who I am right now, but I think that’s okay.
There are certain people, no matter what I’ve done or irresponsibilities portrayed, have not given up on me.
Despite my aloof behavior, that is important to me.
And I’m in the process of doing something I’ve never done before…
Lastly, I’ll say this: no one could be more sorry than I am [at this point in my life].
That said, the only fire left is the future…
even if by candlelight.
Bye for now, KS.
I’m not a boy,
I’m not a man,
I’m not the source of your pain,
I am not,
I’m a pagan,
I’m a God-fearing sinner,
I’m not here to judge,
nor the decider,
nor the decider,
I’m not lying,
but I’m a liar,
I’m living off borrowed time,
I’m starting to tell the truth,
I’m a person first,
I’m not a demon,
but they do live inside me,
I’m not invited,
I’m an outsider,
making waves an occupation,
I’m tried and true,
I’m trying to reach out,
I’m a man,
I am your friend.
“Caught up in life, you see it badly. You suffer from it or enjoy it too much.” – Gustave Flaubert
“An adult life…is a slowly emerging design, with shifting components, occasional dramatic disruptions, and fresh creative arrangements.” – Jill Ker Conway